Friday, October 12, 2018

Staring Trout

Larry hollered over at Al and told him to drop the tailgate on Old Gettem-Up and get the plates and cups ready. Al got the plates ready and brought them over to the fire, setting them on the crate. Larry announced, “The best a man can eat will be ready in a minute.” Then he turned over the redskins and set the pan back. He turned over the trout and mumbled to himself, something about life, the river and food. The rest, neither of the men understood.

            “Grab a plate and enjoy,” Larry announced.  Ray and Al must not have been paying really close attention to the master chef as he utilized his culinary genius over the fire. When Al, plate in hand, was getting ready for his trout his surprise was evident. “What in the world did you do?” he said. “They still have their head. How we supposed to eat fish that are still looking at us?”

Larry started to laugh so hard he choked and had to take his pipe out of his mouth. Coughing out, “They may be staring, but they ain’t seeing. That’s the way we serve trout up here. You’re respecting his contribution to your life when you have to look him in the eye.” By this time Ray was laughing so hard he started to cough. Between the laughing and coughing tears were running down Ray’s cheeks. He said, almost choking, “I guess if it was up to a vote the eyes would have it.” In a second all three men were laughing, at each other, the trout and their sightless stare.

Friday, October 5, 2018

Al meets Nuttin and Butta

“Ok Willie,” Bill said, “Let’s get the hounds out and get started,” Willie opened the first door on the kennel and put a long leather lead on the first dog. Before he could even move to the second door the freed hound was pulling and tugging. With the lead on the second hound Willie reined them in and took them over to the abandoned car. Bill, about ten yards away, yelled at Willie, “Hey Willie, how bout you introducing your hounds to our members of the press.” In an instant Willie shot back, “All right, make fun of my hounds, but they are the best in the north.” And, Bill shot right back, “Cause they are the only blood hounds in the north.”

 Turning to Al and Ray, Willie said, “Now don’t make fun of my dogs. Both are males cause they have the best nose.” Pulling the larger of the two away from the car, Willie said, “The big boy here, he is Nuttin, the other boy, he is Butta.” Ray couldn’t contain himself and his barrel chest laugh echoed down the river. He replied, “I’ve heard it all, here we are a stone’s throw from Canada and we have a southern boy with hounds named, Nuttin and Butta.”

Willie announced, “I’m gonna let the boys work loose. That way I don’t have to keep up with em. Gonna let em get the scent from the car and let em go work.” Al asked, “Mind if I go along with you? I would love to watch Nuttin Butta.”

Friday, September 28, 2018

First Investigation

Al asked, “So, what’s up?”  “Well,” Ray answered, “I just got off the phone with the sheriff up in the town of Wausoneke. It seems like an elderly man went missing. They found his car by the river and no trace of him.” “Wausoneke,” replied Al, “Where in blue blazes is Wausoneke?”  Ray said, “What do you mean? You have been reading all the old papers, haven’t ya? It’s up on the river, close to fifty miles north of here. Over the years it’s been the spot of a few of the strange occurrences. We are going to meet the sheriff at the river, take pictures for him and wait around a while. Sometimes they call me to show up and just take pictures. Their cameras are junk. And, they know a professional when they see one.”

An hour later, Ray pulled the four wheel drive up next to the patrol car. The sheriff was standing down by the river tossing rocks into the swift current. With the wind picking up, Ray hollered out, “Hey Bill, don’t shoot me.” With that the sheriff turned around and said, “Now tell me Ray, it's dark out, how did you know it was me?” Laughing Ray said, “Well, I guess it could have been another officer, if he had stolen your cruiser. You are the only sheriff who drives car number 21, aren’t you? And, I get paid for paying close attention to details. Who knows, someday you might be famous around these parts.” With a laugh Bill said, “For an old fart, you’re pretty observant.”